I started my first full project in April of 2023. I wrote 12,000 words like the world was on fire and I had to get this story down. I’ve been writing book ideas for years but have yet to finish any stories. In 8th grade, I wrote a pretty long story but realized 200 pages in that I had no idea where it was going and it was so full of cliches I don’t even like to think about it. When I made it to 12,000 words, I wasn’t sure where to go and my regular full-time job took most of my mental space so I set the project aside.

Fast forward to November of 2023. I decided last-minute to participate in National Novel Writer’s Month (NaNoWriMo). I had never participated before, but knew this was an opportunity to finish my first complete draft. For those of you that have never heard of NaNoWriMo, it is a collective effort of writer’s to write 50,000 words in one month and start consistent writing habits. I joined a random Discord group I found through a Reddit post and found motivation through a group of like-minded and supportive fellow writers. They did an outline exchange and I wrote my first outline. I actually had a loose road map to this book!

Throughout November, I wasn’t sure if I was going to actually make it to 50,000 words. Life got in the way pretty quickly, but the motivation to win kept me going. I had at least two different 10,000+ word days and was so impressed with myself. I never knew I could write that much at once. I made it to 50,000 words and “won” NaNoWriMo, but my project still wasn’t finished. I set a goal to have it done by the end of December to send out to lovely people who have volunteered to read my first drafts. That didn’t happen.

Now, I have a lonesome three chapters left (probably) and I cannot bring myself to wrap this project up. I know how I want to end this story, but I’m scared to finish it. What if I go back through the draft to edit and I hate every word I’ve written? I’ve never successfully completed an ending before. What if I send it to people and they hate it? I would like to try traditionally publishing this piece and have yet to delve into the world of writing query letters and finding an agent. Maybe that’s why I’m so scared to finish this book. Finishing this story means stepping off into the deep end of what I know about writing and submerging myself and my work in a space that is known for being volatile and brutally honest.

My new goal is to have this piece done by February 1st. I’m working on it today and procrastinating more by writing this blog post. Have you successfully finished a story? Have you sent it off to publishers or agents? If so, please let me know how it went for you! I’m scared but also excited to learn.